Henrietta Among the Pigeons
by Lomonaaeren
Summary: A stray spell temporarily changes Harry into a woman. He promptly goes "undercover" by pretending the change is permanent—and purebloods fall all over themselves to make incriminating statements when they think he might marry into their families. Twoshot. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Henrietta Among the Pigeons  
**Disclaimer: **J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.  
**Pairing**: One sided Harry/many people  
**Content Notes: **Crack, temporary genderbend  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Wordcount: **This part 2800  
**Summary: **A stray spell temporarily changes Harry into a woman. He promptly goes "undercover" by pretending the change is permanent—and purebloods fall all _over _themselves to make incriminating statements when they think he might marry into their families.  
**Author's Notes: **One of my "From Samhain to the Solstice" fics, and in some ways a parody of fics where Harry becomes a blood purist. There will be a second part tomorrow.

**Henrietta Among the Pigeons**

Harry stared into the mirror, and sighed a little. "If you think these robes are really the right sort, Hermione…"

"They're the ones Lavender recommended," Hermione said firmly. She smoothed down a touch of black lace over his shoulder, and then her reflection shook her head at him. "You can't _really _believe this is going to work."

"You don't deal with purebloods all the time who—"

"Yes, of course I do!"

"You didn't let me finish, Hermione. Are women supposed to interrupt each other?"

Hermione ducked her head, her cheeks flushing. "Sorry, Harry."

Harry snorted laughter. Hermione's head flew up. "See how easy it was for you to forget I'm a man, Hermione?" He fluttered a hand and smiled at his ridiculous painted nails. Lavender had said they should be pink. She'd been right. "I meant to say, not purebloods who are arguing for their right to own house-elves. Purebloods who are constantly hinting that I could understand them and marry into their families if I just _conducted _myself right. They're always telling me how much I look like a pureblood Potter, and that my mother's 'unfortunate' blood doesn't touch me at all."

Hermione opened her mouth, and then ended up saying nothing. "How _dare _they!" she finally erupted. "Why in the _world _would they do that?"

"Because they're bigots, Hermione."

"I _know _that! I just mean, among all the arguments they use against me, I've never heard that one—"

Harry rolled his shoulders and frowned a little at the dress robes. They were tighter than he wanted. Then again, he wasn't used to breasts. The bra was a little annoying, and he wondered again whether Lavender, even though she'd been right about everything else, had been right to tell him to pick one that pushed his breasts out. Still, it would catch attention.

"They wouldn't dare say something like that to you, Hermione," Harry told her soothingly, when her rant had reached the tone and pitch that meant he could safely interrupt. "You wear your heritage as a Muggleborn openly and proudly. I don't spend all my time talking about my parents, and so it's easy for some people to forget that they were anything other than heroes."

"Plus, your last name is pureblood." Hermione ran out of steam and sighed. "Yes, I know. But I think that this method is still pretty risky, Harry. You don't even know if you're going to get good information."

Harry grinned into the mirror. He'd taken a potion to make his hair grow out a bit, so that it fluffed softly around his shoulders, and then he'd had Lavender style it for him. She was working in the Muggle Relations Department, but her wife was an Auror, and she had more than enough interest in seeing some of the bigoted purebloods go down.

He made a striking woman, Harry decided. His cheekbones were a little higher, but honestly, the biggest difference about his face was the new pair of glasses he'd adopted for the charade and the fact that he didn't have any stubble on his chin. He looked like himself _to _himself.

Below the face…

He looked enough like Henrietta Potter, he hoped, to make some people give themselves away.

"At least they'll never bother me again after this, even if I don't get good information," he said, and grinned at Hermione in the mirror. "They're never going to forget what they said to me."

Hermione put her hands on her hips. "You have to make them say it in the first place, _Henrietta_."

Harry grinned at her instead of her reflection this time. "Challenge accepted."

* * *

"You must understand that with the divorce from my wife, I gave up on having more children."

Harry grinned at Lucius Malfoy. He wasn't going to notice the edge to that grin. He hadn't looked up from Harry's breasts once since Harry walked into the drawing room at Malfoy Manor. Harry leaned back and crossed his legs, and the robes, silky and diaphanous, slid back from his knees. Malfoy took a breath and held it. "I thought it was also because your only son had come out as gay?"

Malfoy did let the breath out now, as his eyes snapped up to Harry's face. "Yes, well. That is something I'd prefer not to speak of."

Harry only nodded and lowered his eyelashes so that they veiled his eyes. "Well. You understand that I—I've always wanted a family, but I never got around to starting one before _this _happened." A lot of the rest of what he did came from Lavender's advice, but the way he let his hand hover over his belly was his own innovation. "And since the Healers have said that I'm fertile…"

"They did? What kinds of tests did they have to do to determine that?"

Harry clenched his lips against a determined guffaw. _Lucius Malfoy has a Healer kink, then? _"Fairly invasive procedures," he murmured. "With most women they can simply give them a potion that measures fertility, you understand, but with someone turned into a woman by a magical accident…"

"Of course," Malfoy whispered. He had gone back to noticing Harry's breasts. "Of course they would have to do that. Did it—did it involve _gloves_?"

"It might have done." Harry lowered his eyelashes even further, until he almost blinded himself. "But you must understand, Mr. Malfoy, I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to find a suitable father for my children."

"Your children," Malfoy said, whispering again, and then straightened and shook his head. "Right. Of course. You want them to be pure, Miss Henrietta?"

_To fairly follow etiquette and tradition, he should have called me Miss Potter. _Not that Harry was shocked anymore to find that the purebloods violated their precious traditions when it suited them. "Yes," he said. "I—didn't understand, when I was a man."

"Yes?" Malfoy was speaking in a slightly louder voice now, his smile patronizing. Harry marveled. He didn't even have to follow some of the more obvious arguments that Lavender had vetoed. Men treated women as lesser than they were _all by themselves._

It was something Harry hoped he'd broken out of himself, given that one of his best friends was a determined feminist and he worked with and had fought a lot of dangerous women. But probably not. He would have to watch out for it in the future.

"When I was a man," Harry said, and frowned as though that had been so long ago instead of two days, "it was—weird. It seemed so simple and straightforward that I'd find a woman and start a family once I got over my flings with men, and it wouldn't matter if she was pureblood or not. I'd fall in love. But as a woman," he said, and made his voice flutter like his eyelashes, "I _understand._ I have to think of my children and the challenges they would face in this world."

"Yes?" Malfoy was nodding encouragingly so hard he looked as if he was in danger of having his head stick that way like a Muggle toy.

"Plus," Harry said, and let his eyes widen a little now, "I have a womb."

"Of course."

"And the womb—I thought they were all jokes, the way that wombs affected women's thinking." Harry bit his lip and looked down, partially to make sure that he wasn't sitting in the spread-legged way that Lavender said would make them think he still had a cock. "They're not."

"Of course," Malfoy said, all but _purred._ It made Harry feel sorry for Narcissa, if she'd had to listen to that day and night. Malfoy reached out and let his hand brush Harry's knee for a second. "It is such a hard thing to believe, in this day and age that persists in presenting itself as enlightened."

_Such a hard thing to believe because it's not fucking true. _But Harry held the expression on his face and nodded earnestly twice. "I know what it would be like to have someone inside me now." Of course, Harry had known that for years, but probably not in a way Malfoy wanted to think about.

"Yes." Malfoy's voice was thick as he spoke. "Well. I can promise that any children born to me and you would be pure, Miss Henrietta."

"Tell me why, though." Harry fluttered his lashes again. Lavender had told him that his moue was frankly a disgrace to pouts everywhere. "I mean, I still have a mother who wasn't—pure."

Malfoy smiled as if he heard "Mudblood" hiding just behind Harry's words. "But your body is a new one. The Healers had to verify fertility, after all." A slightly glazed blink that made Harry think Malfoy was thinking about gloves. "That means it must have changed completely. As far as I'm concerned, you are now a pureblood maiden, Miss Henrietta."

_A maiden? _But Harry wasn't that surprised to find that the term still existed, only that Malfoy could sound so deadly serious when saying it.

"I hoped you would see it that way." Harry smoothed down the robes over his legs again. "Can you tell me what I would acquire if I became part of your family? If I can be so bold to ask the question."

"Well, heirlooms and treasures, of course—"

"Of course." Harry tried to look pretty and penitent for interrupting, and must have succeeded, if the indulgent look Malfoy gave him was anything to go by. "But I more meant—knowledge. I feel so _ignorant. _I'm so many years behind, and if I'm going to marry into a family of the proper sort and bear pure children, I should know what the family does. Secrets. Important things."

Malfoy chuckled again and began to talk. And Harry listened to him and beamed brainlessly and kept asking.

By the time he left Malfoy Manor, the secrets to several unsolved murders were locked in his head, but he didn't go to the Aurors yet. He had only ten days more that his body would look like this, and a lot more people to see.

* * *

"Thank you so much for seeing me, Mr. Nott."

The man who greeted him at the door wasn't Theodore Nott, who Harry would have found more tolerable, since he was Harry's age and had never been Marked as a Death Eater. But ancient Heinrich Nott had. And he seemed to have a face made of leers. He certainly didn't show Harry any other expression as he showed him into a darkened library.

At least the chair he sat on wasn't blood-splattered, Harry thought. He had to wonder about the stains on several other cushions.

"Henrietta Potter." Nott bowed to him, the depth perfectly correct. Harry would have thought he was more attentive to supposed pureblood traditions than Malfoy, except for the leering. "Is it true that you are seeking a husband?"

Harry forced a blush to rise to his face. "It sounds so _indelicate _when you phrase it like this."

"I don't want to be indelicate," Nott said at once, while his eyes said that he wanted to be as indelicate as possible, but it was probably against pureblood etiquette to rip Harry's clothes off in the library. "Why don't you tell me what you're seeking, and I'll tell you whether I can…_provide _it."

Harry held back his little choke as he crossed his legs. There really wasn't that much innuendo in the word "provide" normally, but Nott could probably put it there.

_He could probably put it anywhere, _Harry thought, and then shoved away the thought before he laughed.

"I want to bring pure children into the world," he said. "Pureblood children. This body has been certified as fertile and female, and…"

"Of course," Nott said softly. "You were able to put off children and dream of them for a later time when you were a man, but children are the most important things to a woman. Any woman."

Harry nodded breathlessly. If the breathlessness came from holding back hysterical chuckles at the thought of what Hermione's face would look like if she heard that, well, Nott would never know. "And the problem is, there seem to be several eligible pureblood men I could wed. I have to admit, I don't know if you would be my first choice. You were on the other side of the war, and you're so much _older _than me."

"Ah, but that means I am that much more experienced as well, my dear."

"Well, of course I know that you've fought in duels and battles, some of them even battles against my allies—"

"I meant in the bed, Miss Potter."

Harry stared and then looked away. He hoped he was blushing again, but his cheeks hurt so much from not grinning like a lunatic that he wasn't sure. "Oh."

"It is natural for a maiden of your youth and stature to be puzzled by such things." Nott waved a hand, and a teapot and two cups, along with a delicate set of tongs and a bowl of sugar appeared. "Please ask me your questions, and I will do my best to answer them."

Harry let Nott put sugar in his tea, and, as he lifted his cup to his lips, wandlessly Vanished the liquid instead of drinking it. Merlin knew what potions Nott would think appropriate to add to it. He gulped and took a risk. Hermione would say that he shouldn't be asking this kind of question, but Harry wanted to know. "I mean—I wanted to know, first of all, why you would be willing to marry a half-blood when you were a Death Eater."

"One does not speak of such things in public, my darling."

_My darling? Presumptuous, aren't you? _Harry managed to blink and simply say, "But we aren't in public, are we? And my friend Hermione keeps telling me that wives and husbands have _no _secrets from each other."

Nott gave him a twisted smile that Harry wondered at. How could he ever have persuaded the Wizengamot when his face betrayed him at every turn? Then again, Harry knew full well that the Wizengamot saw only what they wanted to see. "For the woman who will be my wife, I can make an exception. I have not changed my mind on matters of blood purity."

_Ha. _The speech Nott had given the other month when he donated a bunch of Galleons to St. Mungo's said otherwise.

"But there are other kinds of power than purity," Nott said. "Magical and financial. Fame and beauty." He let his gaze trail down Harry's legs. Harry hoped that he was sitting with the right amount of modesty, whatever that was. "You have so many, my dear. I only hope to be found worthy."

Harry sighed. "Well, it's just so confusing, you see. If you could tell me a little more about the early days? I've heard that Vol—I mean, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had some good ideas then, before Dumbledore began to spread his propaganda."

And Nott ate it up. The more he told Harry about the original Death Eaters, the better an idea Harry had of where to check for hiding places—for bodies, certainly, but even for damning written evidence. By the time he had given his "card" to Nott and promised to contact him again, he was smiling sincerely.

He did pause as he was leaving the house. There was someone standing against the side of a doorway that seemed to lead to another sitting room, someone too tall to be a house-elf.

Theodore Nott leaned his pale face into the light. "You'd better know what you're doing, Potter."

"Mr. Theodore. You startled me." Harry put a hand over his heart and swayed back a step. "Also, I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

"Maybe some of the others forgot because you're in a woman's body now, or because you wore Gryffindor colors." Theodore narrowed his eyes at Harry. "But you're an Auror, and you're a cunning bastard."

"I don't see how. Cunning is the province of men, and Slytherins."

Theodore snorted. "Oh, don't give me that. I don't believe that rubbish about women, and neither do you."

"It's not rubbish, though. It sounded like it when I had—what I had between my legs, but now that I'm living a woman's life, I see how much is true without me knowing it."

Theodore rolled his eyes. "And you aren't delicate, either. Look, go ahead and drag down all the Death Eaters and inbred purebloods you can, I don't care. But leave me out of it. And don't expect me to back you up or buy what you're selling."

"I should hope not, Mr. Theodore. I don't sell myself to _anyone._. I'm not that kind of girl."

"Oh, go away, Potter."

Theodore turned and disappeared down the corridor. Harry watched his back thoughtfully. It was interesting that while Theodore had seen through his act, he also hadn't run to tell his father that Harry wasn't what he appeared. And Harry knew, as with an Auror's instinct, that he wouldn't do it when Harry left the house, either.

_ Theodore Nott is worth keeping an eye on, _Harry decided, and left, fluttering his lashes at the house-elves.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all the reviews!

_Part Two_

"I heard you went to my father, Henrietta. I don't understand. That's the act of a desperate woman. Why didn't you come to _me_ first?"

Harry turned his head. Draco Malfoy was standing right next to him, and had apparently just walked up to him in a pub with no indication that Harry would welcome the attention. Harry snorted into his hand.

Draco Malfoy had only ever been a reluctant Death Eater, but it appeared he was a first-rate prat.

"Well, why not?" Draco persisted, drawing out the stool next to Harry and siting down on it without an invitation. "I want to know why you wouldn't come to _me _if you were going to marry someone and wanted that person to treat you right."

Harry blinked, twice. Then he said, "But, Mr. Draco, we were rivals in school. And you're gay."

"That doesn't matter! It doesn't mean I don't know a good thing when I see it." Draco's eyes went up and down Harry's body, and he leered. Harry didn't even want to imagine what had made him react that way. "Did you know that I'm separated from Astoria Greengrass now?"

"You were _married, _Mr. Draco?"

"I mean, not formally," Draco said, and tried to wink. At least, Harry thought it was winking. It seemed as if he was closing one eye and half-closing the other. "Only betrothed. That is, promised to wed."

"I know what betrothed is, Mr. Draco." Not for nothing had Harry read all those romance novels in preparation for this act. He ducked his head and looked up at Draco from beneath the fluttering eyelashes. "But wouldn't that mean that Miss Astoria is awfully upset with you?"

"What does it matter? I just saw what I really wanted."

"Another Firewhisky?"

An amused, condescending look crossed Draco's face. Harry managed to hold back a sigh. Yes, that was the kind of look he wanted to encourage from men, but Draco wasn't a target. Harry doubted he had any useful information.

"No. A woman who could please me like a man can." Draco firmly turned to face Harry.

Harry did sigh this time, since Draco would probably think it was just a sign that Harry was swooning over his muscles, and managed to resign himself to it.

* * *

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Rabastan Lestrange demanded, pressing his filthy face up against the bars of his cell.

"My name is _Henrietta _Potter," Harry said, lowering his hood and glancing around. The Aurors and Kingsley knew he was here, of course. A confession that he'd obtained by sneaking into Azkaban wouldn't be considered legal in any sense of the word. But the air of drama and secrecy would make it more exciting for Rabastan. "And I've come to tell you that I might be able to shorten your sentence if you give me some important information."

"Potter had a sister?" Rabastan was staring at him with silent hunger. Harry had counted on that. Azkaban dimmed a lot of emotions, but not appetites or physical sensations.

"No. It's me, Harry Potter. Transformed by a spell." Harry took a deep breath, and watched Rabastan watch his chest in appreciation. "I understand a lot of things now I didn't back when I was a man."

"Like what?"

Harry had to give it to him: even with his mind half-destroyed by Azkaban, Rabastan was more suspicious than either Malfoy or Nott had been. He sighed. "Like the importance of pure children. It didn't seem to matter that much when I would sire them with another woman, you know? But now, they'll be leaving my _womb._"

"Harry Potter would never believe in blood purity."

Harry leaned a little closer to the bars and whispered, "You're right. But Henrietta Potter _does._"

Rabastan remained silent for a time, his eyes big and bulging in the darkness. Harry waited, although his wand was gripped in his hand. Despite the reduction of Dementors around Azkaban in the past few years, sometimes one still arrived, and he would have to drive it away with a Patronus if it did. It would derange Rabastan too much to be useful to him.

"No," Rabastan finally muttered. "I don't believe it. I don't believe that you've changed that much by becoming a woman."

Harry hid a grim smile. Maybe because he'd had a formidable woman as a sister-in-law, Rabastan seemed more inclined to respect women. Harry just nodded and said, "Then I can cross your family off my list," and turned around to walk away.

"What list?"

"The list of families I might be able to get pureblood children from," Harry said, stopping and looking over his shoulder. He made his chest bounce a little, so that Rabastan could watch if he wanted.

Rabastan swallowed and then said, "There may be—you can't do anything for me as long as I'm in here."

"That shortening of the sentence that I talked about? I can do something about _that_." Harry bit his lip coyly and let a piece of his hair wind around his finger. "That was what I was talking about."

"And what kind of promise would you want?"

"A betrothal promise," Harry said firmly. "Along with confirmation that your family is powerful and Dark and old. Family secrets," he added, because Rabastan was blinking at him in the glossy way that meant he didn't know what Harry was talking about. "The kind that you would only tell to the woman you intend to marry."

Rabastan swallowed. "I would have need of more persuasion to tell you those."

"There's limited persuasion I can do out here," Harry said, even as he swirled the skirts of his robes and let Rabastan see a flash of leg. "But if I could get that shortened sentence with just a _bit _of persuasion…"

After that, it didn't take that long to get answers from him. Azkaban didn't dim appetites. Harry blew Rabastan a kiss over his shoulder as he left, and went straight out to write down some answers to unsolved murders and kidnappings that had taken place over the war. At least Florean Fortescue's daughter would be relieved to know what had happened to him.

* * *

"But surely you shouldn't have seen any man finer than _me_."

Harry let Draco see him rolling his eyes. Draco stopped trying to take the table across from Harry's in the restaurant Harry had chosen, off Diagon Alley, and looked offended. Harry took a long sip of his soup.

Draco wrinkled his nose at the slurping sound. "A lady should have better table manners."

"That's the kind of thing I'm hoping your father will teach me," Harry said, and used his napkin to pat at his lips, just in case. He didn't want to drive Malfoy away completely. It was possible that he still had some useful information.

"You're still focused on my father?" Draco shook his head and leaned forwards. "You ought to know that he's still in love with my mother."

Harry let his eyes widen and shimmer in the way that he'd had to practice in front of a mirror, and which Lavender had told him still didn't look exactly right, but "good enough." "Are you saying that I'm not lovable, Mr. Draco?"

"Of course not!" Draco looked almost terrified as he held up his hands. Harry eyed him speculatively and wondered if he would get results this good if he pretended to cry in his male form. "I mean—I just said that since my father is in love with my mother, I doubt that he'll fall for another woman that easily."

"I'm hardly _easy._"

"I didn't mean that, either." Draco sounded slightly impatient, but he was lifting his nose into the air again, evidently reassured by Harry's seeming lack of intelligence. "I only meant that it'll be more difficult to capture his attention and time, since he's pining for his former wife."

"Oh." Harry sipped from his mug of butterbeer again. Draco eyed it and then nodded a little, maybe because it wasn't actually alcoholic. Harry didn't know him well enough to read all the signals yet, though. "But you said publicly that you were gay, so why would you be captured, either?"

"I appreciate the male form, but I know now that I simply didn't appreciate the female form _enough_. You're so much more beautiful than Astoria, Henrietta."

Harry ducked his head and tried to give a girlish squeal without making it too loud. "Oh, Mr. Draco, you don't know that. You can't compare us. You're not supposed to do that. I try to feel solidarity for my sister witches."

"Try, but you don't really?" Draco looked immensely pleased as he reached out and let one hand fall on Harry's cheek. "That makes sense. You're a little cat, Henrietta, you know that?"

"You make that sound like it's a bad thing." Harry made his voice breathless as he peered up at Draco from beneath the shade of Draco's own spread fingers.

"A little cattiness never hurt anyone," Draco said, and leaned in.

Harry promptly let himself fall backwards. His head hit the back of the booth painfully, but he didn't care. He sprawled there, and heard Draco calling his name—well, his assumed name—frantically, and then calls for smelling salts and water.

Harry "woke up" just before the speeding footsteps of the server got there, and asked, "Draco?" as he opened his eyes.

"Henrietta! Are you all right?"

"Oh, yes. It's so embarrassing…I'm so sorry!" Harry contrived to upset the water glass Draco held onto him, but Draco barely seemed to notice. He was staring at Harry with wide, upset eyes.

"No, don't apologize. Just tell me what happened."

"That would have been my first real kiss." Harry worried his bottom lip with his teeth. "I mean, my first real one since I transformed. I—I didn't want to—I fainted because I was so happy, you see. I—do you want to try again?"

Draco drew back and held very still. Then he leaned close, so near that his breath brushed over the lobe of Harry's ear and he had to work hard to control a shudder of disgust. "Are you saying," Draco asked, "that you're pure of body as well as seeking a pure father for your children?"

"Why wouldn't I be pure of body?" Harry made his voice hurt. "The Healers let me know that this body is virginal."

"Henrietta…" Draco's hand was trembling on his cheek now. He drew back and bowed to Harry. "Forgive me. Someone who is that pure should never be kissed until her wedding night. Forgive me for assuming that you were just like all the other half-bloods."

"Like all the other half-bloods?" Harry had to admit he hadn't run into whatever this particular prejudice was before, although he'd thought he'd heard everything anyone had to say about half-bloods.

"You know. They sleep around because their pureblood parent isn't enough to infuse them with purity." Draco was staring at Harry with an awed look. It made him look slightly drunk. "I never realized that of course you would have a new body when you transformed."

Harry sighed a little. "Well, if I'm not going to give you my first kiss, then could you move back a little? Someone might think I am exactly like all the other half-bloods if you're standing right near me."

Draco jumped as though someone had pricked him with a pin—which Harry had to admit was hilarious—and hastily shoved back from the table. "O-of course, Henrietta. I'm sorry. I would never wish to dishonor you."

Harry smiled back at him and made some more small talk until Draco went away. Then Harry looked at his watch and calculated the exact number of seconds until he went back to being Harry Potter.

Being Henrietta was getting fucking wearing.

He did notice, before he left the restaurant, that Theodore Nott was sitting at a back table, and he doubted it was coincidence. Harry made Henrietta's big eyes at him. In response, Theodore raised his drink to him.

_Hmm. Yes, I'll have to turn in the Nott information first, just in case. _

* * *

"I don't believe you." Lucius Malfoy's voice was smooth and arrogant, Harry would give the bastard that. "I would never have confessed such things, and you cannot try me under Veritaserum if I refuse to grant you permission."

"Actually, you did confess those things, to an undercover Auror." Kingsley was as good at keeping his voice calm and cheerful as Lucius was at sounding smooth and arrogant. Harry, standing out of sight behind the corner that led into the courtroom, grinned.

"I demand that you produce this supposed Auror, Shacklebolt."

"Here I am!" Harry chirped, purposely making his voice as high and feminine as possible before he walked around the corner and showed Lucius his—now decidedly male again—body, and the beard stubble on his chin, and the lack of breasts.

Lucius turned to face him, and then snapped his jaw shut so hard that Harry could hear it popping from where he stood, even though Lucius was all the way across the courtroom in the defendant's chair. Harry nodded to all and sundry and went to stand at the witness's podium, next to Shacklebolt's own chair of dark wood.

Most of the time, the defendant and the witness and the Head Auror would have been the only occupants of the room, but of course everyone and their house-elf was interested in Lucius Malfoy's trial, since he was _Lucius Malfoy._ Harry raked his eyes over the staring, peering, interested faces and held back his grimace with an effort.

The onlookers disgusted him almost more than the Death Eaters.

"This man is lying," Lucius said. "Or under a glamour."

"Why, Lucius," Harry said, and he must have managed to make his voice sound enough like Henrietta's, because Lucius turned a combination of green and pale that mostly belonged on sour milk. "I'm so sorry that you forgot a pureblood maiden of my modesty so quickly."

Someone laughed in the crowd and quickly smothered it. Kingsley said, without turning, "We will throw any disruptors out of the proceedings," but he was fighting hard to hold his lips in place himself.

"I still want to know how this happened." Lucius looked an instant away from stomping his foot.

"My transformation wasn't permanent." Harry smiled at him.

"You tricked the confession out of me, then. It was obtained under duress."

"No," Harry said happily. "If you had asked anyone at the Ministry, or done any research on such transformations, you would know that it wasn't permanent. You had the chance to find out. In fact, you had ten days to find out _after _I visited you. I'm afraid that your own eagerness betrayed you, Mr. Lucius."

For that, he got a tight face and silence. Harry nodded to Kingsley. "Shall we begin?"

* * *

Rabastan Lestrange was in Azkaban for the crimes he had confessed to already, so Harry didn't have to face him in a trial; the words he had obtained were simply confirmation of where, literally, the bodies were buried. But Heinrich Nott was being tried, since he had never been arrested after the end of the war, and he was interesting.

He stared over Harry's head at the wall the entire time Harry retold their conversation, corroborated with Pensieve memories the Wizengamot had already watched. He remained silent when Kingsley asked him if he wanted to defend himself. His barrister was the one who spoke, sweating now and then, as he tried to argue that the words Heinrich had told Harry were given "in confidence," and that some archaic law declared that husbands and wives could not testify against each other.

"Well, perhaps that would be true," Harry said, "if I _had _married him. And if I was a wife."

The barrister's face drooped. Apparently he hadn't considered that different laws applied to marriages between men and women than would to a marriage between two men. He tried to argue some more after that, but his heart wasn't in it.

Heinrich Nott turned his head when he was sentenced to life in Azkaban for some of his murders, and looked at Harry then. Harry raised his eyebrows. "Good try at the bloodcurdling gaze, but I've seen worse," he said.

"Harry," Kingsley chided under his breath. But he was smiling too broadly to make the scolding stick. Harry knew he was just as pleased as Harry himself was about the convictions here, and the justice that had been long-delayed but at last brought home.

"Someday I will eat the flesh from your bones, Harry Potter," Nott said, his voice heavy and doom-laden.

"Threat! Cannibalistic threat!" Harry called lightly, and some of the various note-takers started scribbling frantically.

"No, no, you don't understand," the barrister began.

"What don't I understand? Does Mr. Nott perhaps mean that he does _not _want to eat flesh from my bones?" Harry widened his eyes the way he would have when he was still Henrietta.

"_Without sauce_," said Nott, in the kind of low voice that made it clear he wanted to be a Parselmouth.

"Mr. Nott just means—"

"_Or seasoning._"

Harry shook his head sadly, while Kingsley explained the procedure for laying the new charges without blinking an eye.

* * *

Harry had to encounter two people as he left the courtroom. The first was Draco Malfoy, who was waiting with a bouquet of lilies and the most perplexed expression on his face, as if he was still trying to work out how Voldemort had lost the war.

"Where is Henrietta?" he asked Harry, his eyes searching over Harry's head.

"Right in front of you." Harry did the high, breathless voice again, and Draco spun to face him, his expression drooping when he saw Harry stand there, being himself.

"But I thought…" Draco's voice trailed off, and he thrust the bouquet back and forth for a moment. Harry watched with a critical eye. He was lucky he hadn't stayed a woman forever, if that was Draco's technique.

Well, no. Really he was lucky that he hadn't been _desperate _enough.

"No," Harry said, shaking his head. "The transformation was never permanent. Just an unlucky accident."

"I thought it was a lucky one."

Draco sounded so forlorn that Harry worked to keep his smile sympathetic. "Sorry. But I do have to go about my business. Did you have any nasty words for me? I got your father arrested. You must have some."

"Um, no." Draco blinked and then turned and stumbled away. Harry sighed and continued walking down the corridor. He could literally see the light at the end of it. He hoped someone would help Draco resolve his sexual confusion, but he wouldn't be that person. _He _was going to walk right out of here and—

"Potter."

_Oh, great. _At least he would probably get his quota of nasty words now, if he'd been salivating after them. Harry managed to settle his face in a smile and turn around. "I'm afraid I can't call you Mr. Theodore anymore."

"I never wanted you to call me that in the first place." Theodore Nott lounged against the doorway the way he had against the doorway in his father's house, his gaze raking Harry up and down. "I know that people gave you compliments when you were a woman, but I much prefer you in your natural form."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Okay."

"For example," Theodore went on, blithely, "if someone less confused by all of existence than Draco were to ask someone in your natural form out to dinner and exchange questions on the ethics of what you did…that's something I would be extremely interested in."

His gaze was direct, and Harry studied him for a second. "You're not angry about what happened to your father?"

"The answer to that question is one of the _many _things you'll gain if you come to dinner with me, Potter."

Harry started smiling, and found that he couldn't stop. "Well, I could consider it, I suppose. Some other night when I'm not so tired."

"I could be persuaded to wait," Theodore said, and while he wasn't smiling and there was nothing about him that was relaxed or easy, he did have a certain light in his eyes that said he was going to be a challenge. Harry enjoyed challenges. "Let me know when you're ready." He tossed Harry a wave and kept walking.

_Huh_. Harry admired Theodore's arse for a second—something his father certainly didn't have going for him—and then walked on his way, out into the light and towards the dinner that was waiting for him at home.

Some other night, when things weren't quite so pressing, then perhaps he'd take Theodore up on his offer. It would be a relief not to have to flutter his eyelashes and simper, at least.

Unless Theodore was into that kind of thing, of course.

**The End. **


End file.
